Within 4 walls

i'm such a poor listener. part of that stems from the fact that i'm so distractible and absolutely can't multi-task. problem is, conversation just has so many bits and pieces one has to grapple with to make it flow. one has to listen, process the words, comprehend it, mull over it, formulate several possible answers, choose an appropriate one and articulate it. and through all this one has to be aware of one's body language, read the other's, read between the lines, modulate one's expression and tone of voice. And as i struggle through all this, there are always things in the background fighting for my attention-- music, people, other conversations or the niggling feeling that I have just said the wrong thing and the need to put it right.

apart from the complexity of conversation, part of my problem of being a poor listener stems from my fixed perspectives. My perspectives are always strict and by and large rather polarised. The world through my eyes are either black or white, right or wrong, with little room in between. In some instances, this works to my benefit, for it makes my purpose defined and my tasks directed.When it comes to conversation, however, a rigid perspective is a bad bad thing. Like when someone comes to me with a problem, my mind immediately classifies their problem into "warranted" and "unwarranted", "solvable" or "unsolvable" and should it fall into either the unwarranted or unsolvable slot, then it subconsciously switches off and i wait impatiently for the conversation topic to change. But I am gradually beginning to realise that what I deem unwarranted or unsolvable does not necessarily have to be so for another. Perspective and morality are actually fluid and subjective as they depend on one's personality, experiences and upbringing. I guess what is needed is to be able to find middle ground, really. To be able to hold on tightly to one's perspective and morality to keep one from going astray, yet keeping a perspective wide enough to accommodate that of others.